Say It With Me Now, “I Am a Gift!”
That love-hate feeling.
The topic of insecurity is one I genuinely love to talk about, but struggle with feeling. Sometimes I feel like I have more experience with insecurity than confidence. This is likely because I (like many) tend to put more weight on situations that challenge me than those that come easy. Let’s be honest, if you have a relatively good day but you had a fight with your partner or let a colleague down or were seriously challenged by your screaming child, what sits with you at the end of the day? If you say, “the rest of the good day,” then damn I am proud of you and the work you’ve done. Or you may be a bit more like me, where you end the night ruminating on that one thing that pushed your edge and how you could have prevented it or what you can take away from it. There is no right perspective, but I am sure we can all agree that insecurity is something that connects us all.
The things that connect us all.
I found that one of the easiest and most helpful tools in dealing with my insecurities was the realization that it is a shared experience. Not just that, but let’s be honest, if insecurity were a person, they’d be pretty damn narcissistic... These understandings have helped me to soften the negative voice and turn the compassion I extend to others more inward. Another thing that has helped me find a compassionate response to my insecure voice, is to imagine myself as my three-year-old self. Because when I look at my toddler, he is perfectly imperfect, and there is nothing more beautiful. This, too, is yet another thing we all can relate to, and children exude an effortless lack of care that encourages them to launch into things without overthinking it first or getting drowned by fear. I’ve also found that in the process of naming my insecurities, it gives others permission to do the same. This practice can shed light on the dark energy of insecurity. It is the permission to be human, to be ugly, to be imperfect, to be real, to be raw, and to be insecure. Yet another layer of connection…
A positive twist on mantras.
I am a fan of tangible and visual practices for making shifts, like working with insecurity. It just helps things stick and last! Because of this, I created two worksheets, one on core truth mantras and the other, which is a twist on an oldie but a goodie, “fake it till you make it.” The mantra practice intends to remind everyone of our perfectly-imperfect, childlike core of self. While I am sure this is not the first time you have heard the concept of mantras, there is one thing that is crucial in using mantras to truly be a catalyst for confidence. Mantras must come from a confident place. One common mispractice with mantras is to create a phrase that has negative language in it. For example, if part of your journey to defying insecurity is to be a better runner, you would use a mantra like “I am a great runner!” or “Running comes easily to me!” instead of “I will not be lazy!” or “Get off the couch!”
Fake it ‘til you make i
We can then take this practice one step further and use it as a part of faking it until we make it! I found that by envisioning and embodying that inspirational person or confident feeling that I was seeking, I was able to “trick” my mind and body in a way that served me. It is extremely important to not come from a competitive or comparing place of mind, but rather a playful one, like you are doing method acting! When you come from this place, it gives you a positive sensation, one that you (and your hormones) will crave more and more. This is the secret behind faking it until you make it, because it helps you to get over the initial hump and get to the powerful state you are capable of, just didn’t YET realize. Until now…
So say it with me now... I am confident! I am a badass! I am a gift!
